5 Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Marriage

Marriage is a serious commitment and before diving into it there are some crucial conversations you should have with your significant other. Some people might think that love is all you need to make a marriage work. The truth is that while love alone is crucial for any relationship, knowing your partner and their expectations can help you prepare to make things work for the rest of your lives. My fiance and I only knew each other for 5 months before we got engaged. Although we had a lot of conversations about ourselves and our expectations, we came across some questions that we either hadn’t talked about before we got married. 

1. Where are we going to live?
   1. This might seem irrelevant to some couples but it is very important to discuss to make sure you are in agreement. As a married couple you have to live together, therefore you have to agree on this. If you are in college and your families live in different areas, are you going to move closer to one family or stay in your college town? If your job requires you to move around, are you alright with moving? There are many differences to consider and these might not be set in stone. Just make sure you are both aware of the plans the other has as far as location goes. 
2. Are we going to have kids? If so, when and how many?
   1. This is another one that might seem obvious, but also very important. Children are a huge part of a marriage. If one person wants children and the other does not, are you going to be able to be happy with either outcome? Assume that you will not be able to change the other person’s mind, because you should not marry someone thinking that they will change after you are married. 
3. What are your plans for your career path? Do you have any career goals?
   1. Your career is a huge part of your life and your spouse’s career will also be a huge part of your life after you are married. It is important to understand what kind of lifestyle your partner’s career is like and if that is going to change. Are you planning on changing careers or going back to school? These are some things that are important to know about your significant other that will make a big impact on your lives together. 
4. How much/what kind of debt do you have? How are you going to pay it off?
   1. There are many aspects of finances that should be discussed prior to getting married but debt might be the most important. Someone who lives debt-free can be very panicked if they marry someone with a large amount of debt unknowingly. Remember, once you are married, your spouse’s debt becomes yours as well. It’s important to be open and honest about this and come up with a plan for how you will pay off any debt you might have and how you will go about spending money in the future. 
5. How are we going to resolve conflicts when they arise?
   1. Conflicts are going to happen in your marriage no matter what. It’s not a matter of if but when will they happen? If both of you understand this and have a plan for how you will resolve them it will set you up for a stronger marriage. Sometimes you have to learn this the hard way, but as long as you learn and make an effort to resolve things as they come up your marriage will be stronger. 

Although these are not the only things that need to be discussed prior to marriage, I think it’s a great start! I highly recommend doing marriage prep classes or dedicating some time to sitting down and discussing different aspects of marriage prior to your wedding day. It will bring you closer together as a couple and make for a smooth transition into married life.